A Visit to Blood Gulch
by Cima1305
Summary: Kat-B320 is having an awful day involving Sister, Sarge, and a tumble out of a moving Pelican. Can she defend Blood Gulch against the Covenant?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

Kat saw the gravity hammer's upswing. She dove left while reaching for her magnum, but it was too late. Her energy shields, already sapped from the battle, only gave her minimal protection. The blow knocked her back a good six meters and, accompanied by the Brute's guttural roar, left her ears ringing and her eyes blinded by bright starbursts.

"... Two! Noble Two, respond!" Carter's voice cut through the pain.

She coughed. She hurt from neck to groin. The Commander's voice sounded like it was coming from underwater.

The first thing she saw when her vision cleared was ARMOR MALFUNCTION blazoned across her HUD in blinking red letters. The second was Emile tackling the still-bellowing Brute Chieftain from behind and carving out its neck with his kukri. She thought she heard him laughing and saying unkind things about its mother.

"Kat, talk to me," said Carter. His helmeted head came into view above her. She tried to sit up and winced.

A quick armor diagnostic display showed multiple damages, blown pressure seals, and fried circuitry, all flashing red as blood.

"I'll live," she wheezed. "But the armor-"

"I know," said Carter. "It looks bad. Don't try to move."

"All clear," came Jun's voice over the radio. "All tangoes neutralized."

"Copy," said Carter. "Call in the transport."

He reached down and scooped her up in his arms, eliciting a strangled scream from between her teeth. He carried her to the dropship in a haze of pain and laid her on the floor. His gentle fingers tugged away pieces of armor and hydrostatic gel. She felt the sting of biofoam being applied, and then the swoop and rumble of the Pelican taking off.

"You look great," Emile said dryly, his shotgun slung casually over his shoulder.

"Don't worry," Carter reassured her. "We'll get you back to base and have both you and the tuxedo patched up in no time."

Unfortunately, they were only halfway home before enemy reinforcements moved in. A fuel rod impacted and sent the Pelican rolling like a dumpling in boiling soup.

"Banshees!" yelled the pilot.

"Give me the turret!" Emile yelled back. There was a _chunk_ as the turret was lowered and a _hiss_ as the hatch opened.

Unfortunately for Kat, the Pelican careened at that moment to avoid a volley of plasma. There was a dizzying jerk and the world around her spun from black metal to blue sky as she was propelled out of the dropship.

"Kat, no!"

Carter's hand grabbed for her, too late, much too late. She yelled as she tumbled through the sky, closer, too fast and too close, to the canyon below.

X

Notes: Thanks so much for reading! And yes, I KNOW Noble Team shouldn't be alive by the time RvB happens, but…. Well, it's more fun to suspend disbelief once in a while! Please review and let me know what you think! Second chapter should be up within a few hours.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Kat limped her way across the canyon and reflected on her thoroughly rotten situation. She had woken up weaponless, aching like she'd been run over by a warthog, and with barely functioning armor.

Some rudimentary field repairs enabled her to move and walk, but her armor was missing major components and those that remained were badly damaged. There was no way she could outrun anything faster than a particularly fat Grunt, or win a fistfight against anything more vigorous than that same Grunt. She was a sitting duck out in the open, and Covenant troops were sure to come looking for her.

Luckily, she spotted a UNSC base not far from where she had fallen. A quick scan of the blue-bannered base with her HUD on 2x zoom showed no movement. Nothing appeared on her motion tracker either as she came closer.

"Hello?" she called, as she entered the base. Her own echo was all that responded. "UNSC friendly here. Hello?"

She grimaced at the interior. It was a mess. Empty rations containers, bottles, popcorn, and unwashed clothes covered the concrete floor. The Covenant must have cleared this place out and ransacked it, Kat imagined. They also seemed to have drawn crude graffiti on some of the walls. Odd.

No bodies were found, but she came across a pile of discarded yellow armor on the threshold of the back entrance. She felt a momentary pang of sadness when she shifted through the pieces. Whoever the armor had belonged to must have been killed in the fight. Vaporized by plasma, maybe.

With only passing guilt, Kat stripped off a few essential parts and used them as replacements for her own armor, sighing in relief as her armor regained basic functions. She decided to search the rest of the base for medical supplies, computer equipment, weapons, and tools so she could continue with repairs.

It was during this search that she came across the naked girl.

"What are _you _doing here?" said Naked Girl, arms crossed under her breasts. She cocked her head to the side to stare at the stunned Spartan. "The party's not until later and it's five bucks a head."

"Identify yourself," Kat demanded, after the initial shock.

"_Pssh, _you can't card me," said Naked Girl. "I'm 21. Who are _you_?" Her voice was shrill and whiny, and it grated on Kat's nerves. "Wait, are you part of the band?"

"No. Why are you naked?"

Naked Girl rolled her eyes. "You can't sunbathe with armor on. _Duh_."

"So the yellow armor belongs to you?"

"You mean the gray armor? Yeah it does. I even wrote my name on it. With stickers."

"…Right."

Kat turned away and headed for the computer module she spotted out of the corner of her eye. The girl was probably a shell-shocked civilian who had somehow gotten mixed up in the battle, she decided. Probably needs a full psychiatric workup.

"Well if you're not part of the band," the girl continued, "and you're not here for the party, are you here to see the other Blue guys? If you are, they're already gone. Blue Army shipped them out."

_Blue Army?_

The name rang a bell. That and several minutes on the computer confirmed Kat's suspicions. She remembered reading the classified files on the shady Project Freelancer, headed by ONI's Dr. Leonard Church. A study of "Blue Team's" roster revealed the girl to be Private Kaikaina Grif, who she now recognized as a simulation trooper.

Kat's headache increased. She sighed and removed her helmet so she could massage her temples. The girl wasn't shell-shocked. She was just an idiot.

"Hey, you're kinda hot," Private Grif remarked. "Wanna make out?"

"Where's your commanding officer?" said Kat, ignoring her.

"Commanding officer? You mean like that Sergeant guy over at Red Base? Ours is dead."

"In the fight?"

"Nah. Aspirin overdose. _Pfft_. Amateur."

"Great," sighed Kat. She noted that there was a Sergeant at Red Base and planned to contact him as soon as she got communications back online. Her fingers flew over the keys on the computer. The technology was badly outdated, which didn't surprise or hinder her.

"Hey, are you looking at porn?" said Private Grif, peering over her shoulder, naked breasts pressed unconcernedly against Kat's right pauldron. "Cuz I haven't figured out how to get it on this computer."

"Stand back, Private," snapped Kat, as the signal hissed into existence. "Noble Leader, do you copy? This is Noble Two. Repeat, this is Noble Two. Noble Leader, do you copy?"

"… _kttch… This is Noble One…. kttch… Kat…ktcch… SitRep, Noble Two..."_

"I've made contact with a UNSC simulation base under the jurisdiction of Project Freelancer. My armor is compromised with limited mobility. Requesting evac."

Private Grif yawned and wandered off. "This porn is boring," she said. "Wanna go raid the medical supplies and see what we can get high on?"

"Seriously," pleaded Kat. "Get me out of here."

"… _ktcch… negative… we've got our own problems at the moment…"_

There was the sound of explosions and plasma turrets discharging over the radio. She could hear the crack of Jun's rifle.

"Copy," said Kat, trying not to sound too disappointed. She wasn't too keen on spending more time than necessary with the idiotic simulation trooper. Due to the nature of Project Freelancer, she couldn't reveal any information pertaining to herself, Noble Team, or the war… or really anything outside of simulation parameters.

"_Kat! There's one… no two Covenant dropships on approach to your position, ETA five minutes at current velocity. Hold position until we get there!" _

"Copy," said Kat, her voice growing hard. "Noble Two out."

She felt like swearing, but kept her frustration inward. It was time to be efficient. She was good at that.

"Private Grif," she called, and the girl appeared around the corner, now wearing heart-print undies and bra. "Get back in your armor. There's Covenant inbound and I need a full weapons-"

"Covenant?" wondered Grif, scratching her behind. "Is that the name of the band you're in?"

"There is no band!"

"Oh. Then who did I blow last…"

"On second thought, just stay put and shut up. I saw turrets on my way here. I'm heading topside to get them online."

After a brief call to Red Base, which only yielded a voicemail recording in bad Spanish, Kat scrambled up to the turrets on top of the base. She found them offline and in minor disrepair, but there was ample ammunition in good condition. It was as she was performing maintenance that she heard a shotgun being cocked.

"Freeze, Blue!" came a gruff male voice from somewhere behind her. She froze as she felt the barrel of the shotgun against her back. Left eye twitching, she held up her hands.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

She could have reasoned with him. She could have talked him into lowering his weapon. She could have spoken calmly, told him who she was, explained the situation, maybe even recruited him into helping her fend off their enemies.

"Ha ha!" crowed the Red Sergeant, jabbing her in the back with his shotgun. "Did you see that, Lopez? Caught myself a dirty, dirty Blue! Caught him blue-handed, trying to get the turrets back online. I knew he was up to no good the moment I spotted him sneaking across the canyon."

"Lo que. No cuido."

"Now the epic stalemate is officially over! We couldn't attack before because the only Blue here was a girl. But now that there's a girl _and _a guy, all bets are off! All glory for the Red Team! Yah! Though I have to say, he's awfully… _curvaceous_ for a fella."

"Eso es una mujer. El pelo corto no iguala al hombre."

"No congratulations necessary, Lopez, but thank you! And yes, I do deserve a medal for this brilliant takeover."

"Palma de la cara."

Kat gritted her teeth when he jabbed her again.

"What's your name and rank, _Blue_?" growled the Red Sergeant.

She could have reasoned with him. She _should_ have reasoned with him. But… she was having a really, _really_ bad day.

When she felt the muzzle of the shotgun withdraw from her back in mid-jab, she sidestepped. In one fluid motion, she turned, grabbed the barrel, and slammed it backwards into his solar plexus. The Sergeant exhaled explosively and doubled over.

"My name and rank," said Kat, "is Lieutenant Commander Catherine-B320."

"Oh, son of a bitch," wheezed the Sergeant, right before she snapped the weapon upwards so the butt caught him under the chin, knocking him unconscious.

"But you can call me Noble Two." She considered adding _punk_ to the end of that sentence but the Covenant were inbound and every second mattered.

She turned to the robot, who took a step backwards.

"Mierda santa! Usted eliminó al sargento! Mire, señora, yo no quieren apuro…"

"Command: program identification," she barked. "Voice verification Sierra-Foxtrot-Niner."

Lopez jerked as if a jolt had gone through him and snapped to attention, though his salute seemed rather surly. "Yo soy robusteza del UNSC, número de serie LPZ-1278-5."

"Hmm…" She went down on one knee and popped open a panel somewhere below his waist. Just as she suspected, it was a mess down there.

"Qué usted hacen? Hey! Ese daños! Hands off my switch, Lady!"

"There," said Kat, shutting the panel and standing back up. "Voice unit fixed. Now, get these chainguns loaded and operational while I drag this idiot out of the way. Notify me the moment dropships are within visual range."

"Yes ma'am."

She hooked her hands under the Sergeant's elbows and dragged him into the base.

"Holy crap!" shrieked Private Grif, when Kat unceremoniously rolled him down the ramp. "Did you kill him?"

"No," said Kat. "Is there a basement here?"

"Y-yeah."

"Good. There's going to be an attack. Get yourself and the Sergeant to the basement and seal the door behind you."

While she was talking, Kat dragged the Sergeant down to the basement and checked to make sure the blast doors could be rigged to lock from the inside. Grif, who had blanched when Kat mentioned the attack, followed obediently.

"I'm commandeering your armor, Private," said Kat. "Stay here and do not, repeat, do _not _open the door until either I or other UNSC forces give you the all clear, understood?"

"Ok," said Grif. Her pale face peeked out from between the blast doors. "Um… do you wanna make out? For good luck?"

"No… And put some clothes on! That's an order, Private!"

The blast doors slid shut.

Moving quickly, Kat retrieved Private Grif's armor, affixed the pieces she needed to herself, and locked them down. A diagnostic appeared on her HUD and confirmed that she had a complete suit of armor. There was a satisfying hum as her shields recharged, albeit sluggishly.

A weapons check proved more disappointing: only a standard issue magnum and three spare clips. There was lipstick on the barrel, for reasons Kat decided not to think about. No grenades. No mines. The turrets could take out most infantry, but they were in trouble if the Covenant brought heavy vehicles.

She also found a canteen, but spat out the first mouthful she took. Apparently, it had been spiked with something fruity and alcoholic.

"Who the hell is running this army?" Kat muttered.

After hacking into Red Base's system, Kat found that there were no other members of Red Team in the canyon, but there was a warthog which could be controlled remotely via the robot.

There was a pulse over the COM, and Lopez's flat, robotic voice came through. "Lieutenant Commander, there's a Covenant dropship in visual range. Turrets are online."

"Alright," Kat said grimly, making her way up to the roof. She holstered the magnum and picked up the Sergeant's fallen shotgun. Above, the sleek, purple Spirit dropship was descending. Plasma turrets warmed, ready to rain down death and destruction. "Let's rock."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

"Headshot!" cheered Kat, nailing a Grunt with her pistol.

"Suck it, Blues," said Lopez in his robotic monotone, as he turned the left turret towards a group of advancing Jackals. Armor-piercing bullets tore through energy shields, flesh, and bone. The rest of the bird-like aliens squawked and scrambled together, creating a phalanx of overlapping blue and red shields.

"Perfect," said Kat. She watched them advance, each gap in the formation decorated with a glowing gob of supercharged plasma. "Run them over."

"Acknowledged," said Lopez. A series of beeps emanated from somewhere below the waist. A second later, Red Team's Warthog roared out from its hiding place and plowed through the middle of the phalanx. The mounted gun spun on its turret and sprayed armor-piercing rounds. The Jackals scattered and fell.

"Elites advancing," said the robot. "1.5 kilometers and closing."

Kat raised her pistol and sighted one of the "mines" they had planted between waves. She fired at a seemingly innocuous dead Grunt, hitting the valve of its methane tank. The corpse exploded into a green fireball, which ignited the cluster of plasma grenades Kat had half-buried in a semicircle around the Grunt.

The resulting explosion sent a good portion of the Elites flying, either dead or wounded. Lopez gunned down the rest with mechanical precision.

"Nice," said Kat.

A red blip appeared on her motion tracker.

"One of them made it up the ramp..." Lopez warned.

She heard the unmistakable roar of an angry Elite as it thundered up to the roof. She barely had time to duck as the white-hot tines of an energy sword slashed the air above her. The space in front of her blurred as the camouflaged Elite reared back and kicked her in the chest.

She flew back, but managed to draw and cock Sarge's shotgun as she fell. She aimed for the center of that rapidly approaching blur and fired. The Elite's camouflage shorted out, along with its shields. She fired again and blew a hole through its chest.

"The same to you," she quipped as it gurgled, dying, in its guttural alien language.

She coughed and struggled to her feet, only to fall back down when she heard the high-pitched whine of a Wraith tank's energy mortar.

"…also, there's a tank," finished Lopez. He peered over the top of the turret. "And it just destroyed the jeep. And of course, it's gonna be me who has to rebuild it. Again. Heaven forbid anyone else on Red Team pulls their-"

A wave of superheated plasma washed over the top of the base before Kat had a chance to shout "hit the deck!"

Her shields fizzled as the bluish-white blob passed overhead and impacted on the ground behind the base. Heat washed over them as plasma exploded and left a glass crater. The blue banners on the outside of the base ignited and burst into flame.

Kat, still hugging concrete, turned her head to check on Lopez. Unfortunately, the magnetically-guided plasma had shorted him out and he lay on top of the base like a pile of junk metal.

"Ow," he commented tonelessly. "This sucks."

She counted the seconds that it took for the Wraith's plasma emitter to recharge and spared a look over the turret, only to duck quickly as a secondary weapon, a plasma cannon, unleashed a volley of plasma.

She crouched and breathed deeply. All they had to do was keep her pinned until the mortar recharged. At the rate the tank was advancing, the next blast would be accurate and close enough to obliterate the top half of Blue Base.

The chaingun, or any other weapon she had, wouldn't put a dent in the tank's armor. Setting off another "mine" would slow it down, but not stop it before it could fire again. She, Lopez, and the simulation troopers holed up in the basement were done for.

Unless…

She clicked off the safety to her magnum, rose, and fired once at the Grunt manning the turret. Her aim was good. The creature slumped over the cannon with a squeak, dead. With her other hand, she un-holstered and overcharged a plasma pistol she had scavenged. The burst splashed across the armored Wraith and the EMP pulse stopped it momentarily in its tracks.

Moving as fast as she could, Kat leapt off the side of the base, hit the ground, rolled, and sprinted straight for the Wraith before it could recover.

The remaining Elites on the ground roared and fired their weapons at her. Gobs of plasma hit her armor and drained her shields. They felt like sharp, punching, overheated jabs and hurt like hell, but she kept running. She leaped onto the sloping left "fin" of the tank and clambered up to the hatch.

It popped opened to reveal a very angry Elite, who snarled a string of colorful alien curse words at her. Her translator picked up some of it and emblazoned "heretic," "accursed barbarian," and "smelly jerk," across her HUD.

The Elite leveled a plasma rifle at her head, but she was quicker. She drew her pistol and emptied her last clip right into the center of its face. After heaving its limp body off the side of the tank, she dropped into the hatch and sealed it behind her.

She tapped the display and saw the remaining Elites running towards her with bloody vengeance in their eyes.

She fired.

The Elites rolled away from the blast but the superheated plasma gushed outwards and cooked half of them in their armor. With a grim smile, she simply ran over the rest of them.

It was after she drove over their smoldering corpses a third time, to make absolute _sure_ they were dead, that she heard Carter's voice over the radio.

"…_ktcchh…this is Noble One… Kat...we have a Falcon inbound to your position…"_

"Copy," said Kat, popping the hatch and climbing out. "LZ is clear. Good to hear your voice, Noble One."

Two Falcons came into view overhead. One touched down while the other stayed in the sky and circled their position, probably so Jun could keep a watchful eye.

"Good to see you, Two," said Carter, as he and Emile strode out towards her. He nodded at the rather impressive pile of corpses scattered around Blue Base. "Looks like you really did a number on them. Good work, Kat."

"If that's really you in there," added Emile.

She realized that her armor was a blue and yellow mosaic of mismatched parts. "I had to improvise," she said, shrugging.

"I can see that," said Carter, looking her up and down. "Where'd you get the spare parts?"

"The simulation trooper that's currently hiding in the basement. We'll need to call in someone from Freelancer for an-"

Emile had walked around behind her and he snickered. "Juicy booty," he said.

"_Excuse_ me?" snapped Kat, turning to face him.

Carter, who now had a full view of her back, made a flustered choking noise. "You… might wanna take a look behind you."

She twisted around and stared disbelievingly at the small of her back. The words "Juicy Booty" were decorated across the yellow plate armor in glittery decals.

"You've got to be kidding me," she muttered. "That little twit…"

"That's real fancy, Kat" Emile said, still wheezing from laughter. "Does it come with a matching cod-"

"Stow it, Four," Carter said sternly. He put two fingers to the side of his helmet. "Jun, are we clear?"

"Skies are clear, Commander," said Jun over the radio. There was a pause. "By the way, why does it say Juicy Booty on Kat's-"

"Shut up," snapped Kat. Jun shut up.

The second Falcon descended in silence and Kat stomped towards her ride with the intention of powering down her shields and scratching the offending letters off as soon as they got to base.

"You shut up too," she snarled at Jorge and Thom as she took her seat. The two men flinched and stared at anything but her.

"Didn't say a thing," Jorge mumbled, looking down at his boots. The Falcon rumbled and took off into the air, soon joined by Carter and Emile's Falcon.

"Nice weather," Jorge commented.

"Yeah," said Thom. "It's a booty-ful day." She didn't need to see his face to know that he was grinning from ear to ear behind his helmet.

"I'm sorry," she said dangerously. "I don't think I heard you correctly. Would you mind repeating that?"

"That's enough, people," said Carter over the COM. "Kat, we'll get your armor fixed as soon as we get back to base. Until then, let's keep it juicy."

Kat's eye twitched.

"… I mean, _professional!_ That's what I meant. Ahem."

Thom sniggered. "Sure, Commander."

What was the penalty, Kat wondered, for seasoning the team leader's morning coffee with a powerful dose of laxatives?


End file.
